TABLE OF CONTENTS - PROSE

Intellect and Depression - Paul Payton
A Very Brief Fantasy - Paul Nachbar
"Synaesthete" - Kay Lindgren
Spam Poetics - C.L. Frost
Elegiac Couplet - Paul Kisak
One Hell of a Collatz Cluster - Quinn Tyler Jackson
Reality Theorems - Paul Nachbar
Dear Viewers - Quinn Tyler Jackson
Did You Ever - Quinn Tyler Jackson
Always Check the Minor Aspects of a Big Thing! - Peter Ingestad (Krax)
Quite a Biofeedback or Something, Wouldn't We Say? :oD - Peter Ingestad (Krax)
The World's Shortest Play - Paul Nachbar
On Insensitivities to Poets - Paul Nachbar
Svar Till En Syster - Peter Ingestad (Krax)

Intellect and Depression - Paul Payton

Does my deep aversion for negativity mean that I am not an
intellectual? Need it arouse in others the suspicion that I cheat on
IQ tests?

Much to the contrary. Your heightened sensitivity, idealism, desire for positive outcome, and awareness of asymmetry in interpersonal relationships all indicate great intellectual prescience. The most brilliant people I know are also the most volatile, sensitive, emotionally bruised, and hyper-vigilant. They are introspective, ceaselessly analytical, and overly prone to wounding by others. Actually, your aversions and peeves and the manner in which you express them reveal you to be a highly intelligent and creative person.

Look at the fleet-footed racehorse, how tenuous and sensitive those supple legs are. The same instruments of speed can render the mighty stallion lame and crippled.

I know a gifted person by their emotional nature. That's an IQ test no one can possibly cheat on.

Want to find a group of easily-hurt people? Go to a high IQ society meeting and observe the interplay. We invest so much of ourselves and our creative capital in what we do that we wear our hearts on our sleeves. Our moods can oscillate wildly between triumphant euphoria and mercilessly harsh self-deprecation, based on little more than external evaluation or vicissitudes in our surrounding climate. We are difficult to please and placate precisely because we are discerning, analytical, instinctively prescient. We 'get people' faster than others, we perceive things others are blind to, our minds race ahead of others (and sometimes our own hearts).

Look at the number of people in this group who confide the same ailment as you. Does it surprise you? Well, it shouldn't. Look to a group of sensitive poets with uncommon gifts and you will find the troubled as well as the gifted. Depression, aside from a potential imbalance in brain chemistry, is a sort of world-weariness. "The world is too much with me, now and then." I suffer from the same malady as you, wondering if my worth is measured on a standardized index and a byproduct of application of that vaunted intellect. Am I valued and esteemed for the person I am or the problems I can solve...or considerable income that provides? What is the measure of me in the eyes of others? How do I define myself in attribute and merit? Intelligence can become a force of seclusion, where one even questions the love of another. Who can love a brain that is too often beyond fathom? It often promotes a mind quick to the feeling of unworthiness, a mind unwilling to even entertain the thoughts of receiving the love of another. Why? Because the mind is a juggernaut that brushes aside whatever it chooses to do, abrogating control of reason. The same creative force that produces a clever turn of word or phrase can also use that intellectual power to dismiss or deny any portrait of reality or positive perception of it. This, then, is one tooth on the serrated edge that is the double-edged sword of intellect. The very tool we wield with rapier wit is also the same one that can cut at our own hearts. Quinn Tyler Jackson has frequently written often of 'cutting my tongue'. This is the duality of intelligence: the same tool that advances us in the world of ideas and ideals hinders and addles us in the world of reality.

There is no gift that does not come with an attendant curse. The poet's world is vulnerability, conjoined with sensitivity. We who are sensitive wear our heart on our sleeves where it is prone to be stolen, spindled, mutilated, and treated with disinterest.

What you write...and what you are feeling that transcends the written word...they both resonate with the majority of souls who are reading your notes. I don't have to think twice -- I know it to be so; I trust in it because I all-too-well understand the trials and tribulations of the sensitive mind, the noble mind that seeks uplifting sensations. We are all kindred spirits, sometimes riding the crest of magnificent creative expression and other times suffering the ignominy of defeat and insult.

The human race is a neurotic one. We are all on the spectrum of that neurosis. Sometimes we are more infra-red or ultra-violet than we are visible light. The intellectuals are the ones most prone to such extremes. We are extreme in the Bell Curve; we are equally entitled to be similarly so in terms of emotions, relationships, and our sensitivity in handling these things.

You are not alone. Rest assured, you are not alone. Depression is a cloud that follows me around like Joe Btfsplk. Perhaps the best therapy you can realize is the discourse possible amongst those of us who have felt the stabbing pains you are enduring. We who read your notes understand you because we are your peers and resound inwardly to your emotions.

We all live in that volatile state: a mind active with inspiration and teetering precariously above the chasm of depression and self-immolation.

Believe it. We walk that high wire every moment of conscious awareness. It defines the life of a poetic genius as conduit from the world of ideas to the world of humanity.

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A Very Brief Fantasy - Paul Nachbar

Although most friends say I possess an excellent memory, it is only quite dimly that I recall the doctor - and I think he was a doctor - asking me certain questions when I was born or when, I suppose, I decided to be born. I'm not sure which here; the memories get fuzzy. He said or rather warned me here that the "madness rubs off" and I calmly considered that for a moment,then said, given the alternatives, I think I will live with that, or at least, given the circumstances, I thought that, which may have been enough. Then he said something too about a caveat, or warning of course as in the phrase 'caveat emptor' or 'buyer beware' but given the trauma of the situation and my very vague memories of Latin at that time, I'm not sure if this phrase actually was 'caveat'. Caveat, caviar, career, crave, crevat, crevasse.Something like that. I'm not sure but I think it was caveat. In general, looking way, way back I think I made the right decision but often I blame myself, repeating the phrase somewhat melodramatically though mostly to myself "it was all my decision!!!"

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"Synaesthete" - Kay Lindgren

It is interesting that you mention Rimbaud. I recall studying
his poem, "Voyelles," in a college French lit class. Rimbaldian
scholars are of the general opinion that "A noir, E blanc, I rouge, U
vert, O bleu" was inspired by the poet's recollection of an
alaphabet chart from his early school days. On such charts, the
letters were often of different colors to aid the memory of children
as they learned the alphabet. It is entirely possible that Rimbaud's
poem was inspired by such a memory. I recall sharing my own
insight.

At the time, I did not know the term "synaesthesia." I thought that
what I had was just a heightened form of sensory perception involving
bimodality or multimodality, a characteristic that some people are
born with. It is indeed that, but it has a name: synaesthesia. I
know that my mother had the condition, as did some other relatives on
her side, all females. My mother and I used to play games when I was
little, telling each other the color of car horns, songs, dog barks,
etc. My mother urged me to keep our game a secret. "Most people
don't see noises or hear colors," she said. "They will think we are
strange if we tell them about it. So, this is our special secret."

I raised the question in my French lit class: "Could Rimbaud have
somehow perceived black print as multi-colored?" I mentioned my own
most commonly occurring type of mixed sensory perception, which I now
know is called projected color hearing. I have also occasionally
seen letters that I know to be black in various colors, usually as a
ghost or shadow of the normal printed text. My French professor, an
internationally acclaimed scholar, pooh-poohed my theory. "Don't
even think of handing in a term paper written like that," he
warned. "It will not fly."

The following year, I was at the Sorbonne and took a modern lit
course with another professor. During our study of Eluard, I did a
class project on, "La terre est bleue comme une orange." I explained
about bimodal sensory perceptions. That professor gave me 20/20 -
the highest possible grade in the French system, almost unheard of
because it is so rarely awarded.

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Spam Poetics - C.L. Frost
by <>
a.k.a. "@%^*Spam*&*L'Eggs**#%@"

Today, before emptying my junk mail box, I actually glanced at the subje=

ct
headers. Some informed me that I had been turned down for that
nonexistent loan or approved for a temporary million dollar credit line; ot=

hers
assured me that I could stop paying for any kind of car repair, suggested t=

hat
my "Outstanding Balance" might be outstanding enough to induce
nightmares, but reassured me that "the news is good for the economy" and
that I could enjoy "Great Rates, no gimmicks" at a motel which rents rooms =

by
the hour. Some offered to show me the world of living and lively "lesbian =

sex"
as an "always satisfied spectator", to introduce me to acrobatic strip-te=

ase at
"Chickago-go", or to let me cybersexually fondle the virtual, but not virtu=

ous,
"Big Red Toy 4 Adults" while watching "5 XXX DVDs For $1 - free shipping
(included)"; all the women were girls and all the girls were "extremely hot=

",
even in Siberia or in boardrooms where it's "cool" to be perpetually
passionless and without perspiration. Ads offering "Dr. Approved Manhood
Enlargement, results guaranteed" followed soon after one liners promising
"Breast enlargement without silicon, in 1 week" through the diligent
application of a cream made from Aphrodite's milk. Others cooed coquettishl=

y
"Give her something to smile about" or offered magic potions that would
either "cure wrinkles and aging instantly" or turn me into a human Shar Pei=

too senile to complain that she had been conned; another exclaimed "Control=

your life!", but failed to mention that I'd better do do before the chemica=

lly
tainted anti-aging cream turned my hair gray, and my brain to necrotic mush=

.

Other mail, designed for erudite underground geeks who hide in damp
basements and whose mattresses never buckle under romping sex, offered
"New technology that guarantees you'll learn a new language in 10 days!";
this would allow the geek to screech Russian arias and Swahili chants in hi=

s
mold-lined shower, in a voice guaranteed to deafen the ears possessed by
any wall. Others advertised spy software to "View their eMail" or "LOG
EVERYONE'S PASSWORD!!!"; while one mentioned a mysterious "jm
Windows 2000 Datacenter" and another the seemingly clandestine "online
no-cost ops_info", none offered courses in how to hack into the computers o=

f
three-letter agencies often described with four-letter epithets. Other hea=

ders,
working undercover and knowing that such suspect words as "girls", "loan", =

"drugs" and "sex" alert the guardians of email security, sneaked in under s=

uch
code names as "jniyvumhel", "roapxxm" and "jszchn"; the false identity
"kalmuk" probably belonged to a camel merchant or Klingon dictator who
wanted a moniker he could pronounce, while "gorton" belonged to either a
genetic mutant or the manufacturer of a tough elastic fabric.

After deleting such mundane entries, I encountered headers that ranged
from inspiring to humorous to thought provoking; here's today's list of win=

ning
Spam titles:

Spiroketal Wavelets
caretaker drones  
pocketbook dicks, dicks, dicks!
biopsy Ci@lis 
Red Sex Game
serenity caps  
Manhood enlargement for you brownian motion  
hotpus sywil low
babe scumhot
ascomycetes 
break the seams open
half price Works

Do some subject headers sound like possible names for music groups? A
polysyllabic scientific term goes well with heavy metal and this week's
number one group is "Ascomycetes", dressed in grunge which nourishes
some sort of fungus. "Biopsy Ci@lis" screeches in goth angst while the
rapping, foot tapping, hip-hopping, arm slapping "Babe Scumhot"s hoot and =

toot about crude dudes in the town as the rival group, the "HotPus-s-Low"s =

blow some snow and get ready to show their stuff. "The Serenity Caps"
wallow through the blues and the all-female "Spiroketal Wavelets" strums
guitars and drawls it's latest heart-breaker hit "Break the Seams Open":

Break the seams open
And let your whole heart show.
How can I ever know
You, if your heart's all sown up?

The listener relaxes, afloat on a pink cloud drifting through a romantic's =

utopia. Or, if made of hard edged metal and cynical stuff, he quickly turn=

s the
dial to listen to "The Caretaker Drones" or "The Half Price Works", broodin=

g
bands with lyrics that caustically criticize society from its pigeon-pooped=

spires to its roach infested basements.

Some headers transport us to a parallel science-fiction universe. "Sere=

nity
caps", the high-tech new and improved variety of Valium, are
electromagnetically charged helmets that alter brain waves and thus induce =

tranquility. "Caretaker drones" are genetically engineered or robot drudge=

s in
that brave new world where bargain hunters shop at "Half Price Works" for a=

discounted artificial heart, stomach or brain that works as well as the
full-priced mechanism. "Pocketbook dicks, dicks, dicks!" refers to the pur=

se
transporting a wallet-sized detective, shrunk by the same machine that
shrunk the kids; in another scenario, the private dick, a.k.a. the private =

eye,
walks right out of the TV set and, maintaining the same size as he had on
screen, hides in the lady's purse to do covert surveillance.

Other titles take us to the harlequins - to the paperback romances so
predictably overwrought as to verge on the comical, and perhaps to the
comedians themselves. "Manhood enlargement for you(r) brownian motion"
calls to mind the pre-Viagra Lothario who, unable to enjoy the orgasmic
raptures of a "quivering manhood", laments that "damned Dicky down-under"
is only capable of barely detectable Brownian motion and calls his urologis=

t
for a prescription of magic pills. In the "Red Sex Game", co-ed players st=

reak
onto the ball field clad only in red socks and shoes; in version two, unfol=

ding
during the Cold War, the debonair, deft and daring 007 penetrates a ring of=

Soviet spies by having sex with one of their own, a very red Queen of the
sensuous.

Perhaps not everything in junk mail is junk; perhaps some junk, if polis=

hed
or seen through distorting lenses, shines like silver. Perhaps seemingly
random associations of words irk us, and we struggle to make sense out of
the silliness; then we find ourselves envisioning dreamlike scenarios that =

are
comic or profound. Next time you find yourself feeling numb or blocked, vi=

sit
your Spam box for an inspiring dose of the random and nonsensical.
Perhaps you'll end up writing a poem on "Brownian Motion Love", or even
designing the board and rules for the "Red Sex Game". You might even, like=

me, find yourself following the advice of one header, which said "please
write".

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Elegiac Couplet - Paul Kisak

I was looking up the definition of the word elegiac
thinking it had to do with suffering a loss and I found out,
much to my surprise, it seems to also define:

elegiac couplet n.- A unit of verse in Greek and Roman prosody
consisting of a line of dactylic hexameter followed by a line of dactylic pentameter.

and:

elegiac stanza n. - A four-line stanza in iambic pentameter
rhyming on alternate lines. Also called heroic quatrain.

I like heroic quatrains but was surprised to see that if used
in couplet form it has a different meter than in stanza.

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One Hell of a Collatz Cluster - Quinn Tyler Jackson

N = 3298601216
N ... N + 254

Calculate how many "steps" it takes for each of those to reach 1. The algorithm is:

"If the number is odd -- the next is 3n+1."
"If the number is even -- the next is n/2."

All numbers in that range take exactly 218 steps to reach 1. That is to say: the numbers N through N + 254 for that starting point all take 218 steps to reach 1.

What explains the "cluster"?
Here's a graph of their paths:

http://members.shaw.ca/the_grammar_forge/hailstone_descents.gif

(The vertical scale of the graph is 35*ln(x) so that it would fit on the
screen.)

I'm calling this baby "Collatz' Comet".

Now -- considering that all of those paths have 218 steps... consider:

Using GA, this the longest such cluster in 2^32 space I've found. It may just be the longest such cluster in 32-bit space. :-) (I haven't verified this yet ... but wouldn't that be fun?)

GA ... I used a genetic algorithm to find it -- it found this "beaut" in a few seconds -- brute force might have taken quite a bit longer. ;-)

I don't know if this particular cluster has been mentioned in the literature.

(The points at which paths towards 1 converge are known as "attractors". An interesting thing about this particular cluster is that it has so few such attractors. The bottom right of the graph shows the main attractor.)

I'd like to find longer clusters for 2^N | N > 32, but I need a BigNum C++ class set -- have one, but haven't plugged it in yet because I'm still looking for interesting clusters in 32-bit space.

Now .. why on earth am I messing with numbers in this way? And why Hailstone Numbers? I'm testing my GA code and preparing to .... pssst .... vvvvfffftttt .... [carrier lost ;-]

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Reality Theorems - Paul Nachbar

Insofar as reality is in the mind and all minds have certain things in common, it can be sketched out mathematically to some degree or enumerated.In fact, minds tend to think in terms of reality sets, something I;ll just assert and not prove at this point. Whether the minds are organized so-called or confused, normal or abnormal or agree or disagree about a whole range of propositions, including preferences is not the pointThey have things in common. Not an ideal formulation, but essential for some purposes eg working in this type of organization (my job as part-time professional poet in a mental healht agency) and not a science lab or in a university literature or philosophy department etc.

Briefly the reality formula relates to two different conditions which interrelate in ways too complicated to go into. One is an ordinary non-quantum level where A is not equal to not A and 1 is not equal to 0. The other is a very small quantum level where A can equal not A and 1 can equal 0, or rather a given quanta can be both at the same time. Or yes and no at the same time as the distance between opposites shrinks in scale.
The ordinary non-quantum level formula describes the form of things. I guess on a quantum level you would find the content, more describable by me in terms of adjectives than adjustments to the reality formula. Eg the flavors and motions etc of the quantum stuff.(warning: this stuff applies approximately to mind as I understand it and not to the somewhat separate intricacies of physics and math, at which I am pretty amatuer. Thanks to XXXXXXXXXX here. Here I question whether mind in fact matters, but since it is frustrating to have, whether or not it ultimately matters, it is best, I think, to clearly describe it or as clearly as possible.One has, er, a neater mess)
Anyway, the reality formula can be represented as:

R=Reality (in the mind..at this point)

R=ax+bi+cI+d(AWS and OWS)+eC

a,b,c,d,e= coefficients or some real number value, quantity etc.

x= simplified value of the matrix of directly measurable variables in the field of real numbers, what some call reality: one person, two people, etc

i=simplified value of the matrix of complex variables, what some call the field of complex numbers: one good thought, two good thoughts, qualities etc.

I= simplified value of the matrix of ineffable variables beyond mere complexity:God, ultimate purpose etc, where the coefficient of course could be zero.

AWS and OWS = simplified value of the matrix of Other Weird Stuff which may or may not be ultimately calculable by any method, including computation but are not ineffable: since this other weird stuff is both and bad; I call it AWS and OWS to distinguish. For example, there are at this point problems in physics which could only be calculated by filling the universe with supercomputers designed to work on this problem over hundreds of years, which is of course an impossible thing to physically achieve for obvious reasons.So the AWS and OWS can be referred to as luck& magic etc.I call it magic because even if I can't literally believe in it I can't completely unbelieve in it. or 'good things' and 'bad' , accidents etc.

C=simplified value of the matrix of the human act of Creation from biological to what may be called ;art; eg why 'reality' is not simply stagnant and flatline

Quantum Level: on small scale reality follows different laws than higher level.For instance, strange effect;particles; which could be infinitely far from each other having a measurable effect on each other with no communication. Particles which appear and disappear from existence, eg virtual particles. Analogies are the unconscious life of the mind etc..or just the philosophical conception of stuff; or being; and the relationships with that and not being or ;mess; and not mess etc. On level of physics, not psychology/philosophy, one of the foremost theoreticians here, Feinman said nobody understands quantum mechanics but it works as a better predictor of things than any other physics; I guess this could be called the realm of the secret; or perhaps ultimately secret and non-secret live of the mind, selves, interpersonal whatever

To summarize:

Reality= lower level reality plus complexity plus ineffability (which may or may not exist outside of the imagination)plus 'magic' (can;t exactly be calculated) plus creation (on different levels, from purely biological to the most refined art). All of which is measurable, even if the variables as opposed to the coefficients are not real numbers. Underneath and interacting with this is the quantum level which has other laws..perhaps detectable in their flow but strange;

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Think Here Of - Paul Nachbar

Reference to poem - Think Here Of

Very interesting Paul, for humankind to give up pain, anguish, the abyss, misery, and guilt, hum. What would happen? I see your point though, it is something that man strives for, but is fundamentally the last thing we ever want to achieve. Jeremy Bentham and James Mill; the aim was said to be the greatest happiness for the greatest number, but that makes happiness generic and mundane, thus never achievable. Humankind must realize that we are here to learn, painful as it may be, but it is for our own good.

When you get a chance Paul, personally or on the board, tell me what you think it is all about. I think you and I share a similar idea in what life is about, and laugh at the same human follies. Although, I think you are further advanced in the analyst then I, thus my curiosity in your belief.

Mark

Reply by Paul

I'm not sure this is precisely what I meant. Which may be my fault, or well, it was a pretty short poem.The poem was actually an irony against certain solutions to the human condition or well dilemna which I regard as being somewhat forced.and cliched. The abyss, pain, guilt etc are going to be there to some extent, no matter how much one tries to wash them away or perhaps romanticize them. Though some comforting words though are perhaps 'better' than others. Well here even Nietzsche, who hardly advocated comfort, said that if one stares into the void long enough, it begins to stare into oneself.

At the opposite end of this section of the philosophical spectrum is of course some form of utilitarianism, based upon a Christian tradition which Nietzsche somewhat deviated from and Mill tried to use as the base for a rational and scientific modern ethics. In his time, Mill was hardly generic and mundane given the variety of competing ideas. And he also offered a kind of escape hatch in his essay On Liberty for those for whom the general rules did not quite apply. Though in a different era, some of this stuff looks pretty tame..

I am really not interested in conforming or debating the proposition of whether man is here for any purpose, personal or historical, which belief I would classify under the philosophical heading of teleologies. Both the traditional as they are called sometimes Abrahmic religions are all teleological as well as many secular systems of belief from "progress" to communist theory., whatever their respective merits.Most of us need to believe this. Is it absolutely true? Gulp.

I would not try , as if I could, to impose a cap here on such debates, but they do not seem to lead ME anywhere. I respect those who do. For instance Chris Langan. I just find these questions kind of unresolvable because one's beliefs and perceptions will be, or so it seems to me, kind of all over the place on such questions of ultimate meaning, whether one wants them to be or not. One goes between cleaning up and organizing the general 'mess' with principles, methods, techniques beliefs, falling into the mess and despairing whether there is any real solution to the mess of the human condition I've been in all of the above..

I try to accept, as best I can, which is often not very good, that they are or can be maddening, outside of a pretty narrow (in my humble opinion) framework and that I am not alone in being a bit maddened by them. Best here, though, usually for me to produce some sort of art than to obsess about the organization of the mess of man's spiritual needs, existant religious belief systems and the implications of science eg., you (mankind) just don't seem that important in the scheme of things, to say the least. Though I intend to live on this planet for some time and can't access others except via science fiction. Art is kind of an indirect answer I think?

If you want though, I can repost here something I did write which might clarify some of what I think on such topics called Reality Theorems. This was my attempt to step outside of ideologies and belief systems and to summarize factors in common and their ranges. Basically for the sake of my communication with others who might apparently believe many different things, like that communicator device in Star Trek which instantly translates among very foreign alien languages? Of course the creation of this might easily be seen by others as part of an ideology, and if so, then so be it. At least it is not, I think ..or hope, "generic and mundane."

I think we share similar feelings about what life is about. I can sometimes laugh at human follies but at other times this blows up in my face, not exactly being immune to many of them. It is kind of tragicomic and perhaps, many times, in my view, 'absurd'.though I imagine "destiny" as well. I try not to resolve this too much..gets me into trouble..Thanks for your thoughtful response. Now after all this thought on my part, I am going back to watching television, which really sometimes is not all that bad, if other times not all that good.

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Dear Viewers - Quinn Tyler Jackson

Dear viewers,

A crazed Tibetan monk, high on life, broke into the Pray-Tel studio earlier today and changed the cue cards of our under paid actors. The previous ads that appeared on national TV and radio for "Poetic Licenses" were, in fact, intended to be for prophetic licentiousness (available only from Pray-Tel for 99.95!).

We deeply regret that some of you submitted your credit card information to us, and that we took your money (which we won't refund, due to Pray-Tel's Loveitorshoveit Policy), but we were only able to send you a consolation prize of a slightly worn copy of Marquis "Mr. Nice Guy" De Sade's autobiographical account of his life as an uncover Navy Seal.

Due to the high volume of phone calls we usually ignore, we also regret that this email is your only apology.

Please rest assured that the crazed monk, (a.k.a. Hernandez "I can Levitate!" Raoul de Jesus Ortéga Valdez Schmitt Oppenheimer III, Twice Removed), has been promoted to head of logistics here at Pray-Tel, which we feel is suitable punishment. Herny (as we know and love him) says he hopes you especially enjoy page 93 of De Sade's riveting tales of Navy Seal mad foolery.

Yours,

Sir Edmund "I Bought my Title from a Down and Out Cockney" Montgomery Hillary Clinton Harvey Wallbanger, Esquire, Ph.D., SQPR, All Roads Lead to Rome General "McArthur" Manager, Pray-Tel Enterprises (A Delaware Corporation)

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Did You Ever- Quinn Tyler Jackson

Did yah ever just "invent" some poetic form, on the spot, just to see how long you could sustain it?

Or did yah ever just throw something together, hoping to write a quatrain, sonnet, or whatever, and it took on a life of its own?

Did yah ever have a poem start out so poorly that yah asked yourself how yah ever came up with such a thing?

If you have answered yes to any of the above questions, you could already BE a poet!

Send 99.95 to Pray-Tel for your very own Poetic License!

Offer not available in stores, void where prohibited, objects in mirror are sillier than they appear, some states do not allow for the inclusion of Hallmark Cards on resumes. Your mileage may vary. On approved credit. This offer is not available to residents of NY, Italy, Greece, China, Hungary, Atlantis, Erewhon, countries beginning, ending, or containing vowels, or states that use the phrase "and/or" in their legislature. Do not try this offer at home. Professional poet on closed course. Obey local poetry laws. Pray-Tel assumes no responsibility for anything you may and/or may not do with your poetic license. May cause hair loss. Best avoided by pregnant pauses or nursing homes. Due to the limited supply of Poetic Licenses available, actual license may and/or may not differ from the license shown here.

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Always Check the Minor Aspects of a Big Thing! - Peter Ingestad (Krax)

Varm korv, goda grannar!

NORGE svärje SUOMI

...

I do believe in God. When we get older - do we become more religious? What about old people using their intellectual inferiority as some kind of a
minefield protecting their economic superiority? What would God think about that? Maybe some people FEEL safer being Atheists - but that does not in any way imply they really ARE safer. - Just a quick thought.

...

One of my best aphorisms:

Never dare cowardice.

@ Peter Ingestad

...

Interconnections: all-encompassing: no suspicion!

...

Planet of erratic behavior: Uranus.

Planet of power, transformation, money, death, satan, sex, control, jealousy
and mental disorder:

PLUTO,

tra la la la... sinä heista roskapossi månafåna trallallin

*just kidding*

All yours,
sincerely,
Kraxpelax Lund Sweden 510325 12.15 daytime ;o) - Check the minor aspects.

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Quite a Biofeedback or Something, Wouldn't We Say? :oD - Peter Ingestad (Krax)

But believe me, it's no joke, I believe humor is a gift by God; without it,
our world would be Hell, now it's only bad enough.

Few years ago I was at hospital, profusely coughong blood. Suspected
pulmonary cancer (I smoke 2 packs/day since some 20-30 years). To my own
surprise, I found myself a sincere cath believer. I spent 4 days at
hospital. The food was fine, and the nurses were funny, and so were the
doctors, I laughed and joked a lot. They made x-rays and magnet camera
examinations, no pain. The blood cough stopped, they sent me home, it
started again but stopped again after a few hours and I was fine. Six week
later: another pulmonary X-ray, which was OK. It wasn't pulmonary cancer,
what was it then? Nobody ever knew, and who cares. And I still smoke
heavily, really enjoying it, and I do pray a lot, but silently.

*Bob growls & Maja giggles*

- Krax

Hello Krax,

I heartily agree! It even works backwards for me. That is, people
normally smile when they feel happy, but I have found that if I smile
FIRST, it MAKES me feel happy! Hey, try it and see! Get this nice big
grin goin', and watch what happens!

Katie :-)

Indeed. :o/ That ability to smile is more important than people in
general believe. The faculty of humor has a life essential function of
downscaling and reduction of tension. One of those guys that brought down thos two
tall buildings of Manhattan was told to never laugh by ppl remembering him.
He was also known having said on one occasion: "Humor kills the heart."

- Krax

Well, a person such as yourself really deserves a serious effort,
but until then, at least you got a little smile, I hope.

that's pretty good... paul

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The World's Shortest Play - Paul Nachbar

a round stage mostly surrounded by an audience. two people in one corner. beyond that a podium and many many seated people, some who look important.

two people
A) I don't WANT TO.
B) It's your job
A) But I just don't WANT TO ANYMORE.
B) Why not?
A) Because...it's a long list. Really awful stuff..the things that happen...
B) Hmmm. I don't want to hear about this.
A) It is a very long list.
B): What else would you do?
A) Gulps
B:) You were TRAINED to do this. We INVESTED in your TRAINING.
A) Gulps.
B) You're having..second thoughts?
A) It really isn't fair.
B) Everybody gets nervous.
A) But what else could I do?????
B) Well, there are thousands, well billions or trillions or other alternatives. YOU KNOW THAT DON"T YOU!!! TRILLIONS!!!!
A) I do? Uh how many zeros is that?
B) Yes,YOU DO! Uh, a lot of zeros....But...just ..please DO IT!!
A) I'll try.
B) NO. YOU'LL DO!!
A) What do I have to lose? Uh..(thinking anguishedly)
B) Just ...GO! C'mon (conspiratorial smile, hand on shoulder)

A walks up to the podium, looks around, makes eye contact with several in the audience, smiles benignly, slightly wipes his brow, looks deep in thought for about two seconds, makes several welcoming and conclusive folksy yet formal hand gestures and then says, very slowly, deliberately, distinctly and authoritatively:

A) Yes my friends. It is CERTAINLY, was CERTAINLY and CERTAINLY ALWAYS WILL BE a case of THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A then gestures with a firm and authoritative and assertive though non aggressive fist in the air for one and a half seconds. The audience roars applause. Except for a few angry members who storm through the seats and out the rear of the stage. A makes a wry face, then smiles with slight helplessness and then more restrained benignity then waves and returns offstage.


A) What happened? Why did they walk off like that? They were so angry!?? It was awful..
B) Oh please. Could be anything. Maybe they just didnt' like your shoes?
A) Hmm..Could be..
B) Could be anything YOU KNOW IT COULD BE ANYTHING!
A) Yes..


The End

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On Insensitivities to Poets - Paul Nachbar

the world is often very insensitive to poets
poets are often quite insensitive to each other.
nobody knows how to 'objectively' define what a 'poet' is.
in most cases nobody knows how to 'objectively' define what 'objectivity' means
or perhaps in many cases to define 'objectively' what the 'world' implies
oneself is often the easiest person to deceive though with consequences
life is very scary and enraging and unfair at times anyway
nobody really forgives and forgets these consequences
this causes pain in addition to everything else
virtually nobody is rational in the face of pain
they are often or usualy more critical than correct or seem to be
most criticism contains more half truths than truths
the half truths are very often rooted in other things which go way back
you can't sue the dead
though the dead dont' usually argue with you
even though it sometimes seems this way
life is virtually always between a rock and a hard place
whether it is short and stunted and brutal
or long and elaborated and frequently tasteless
soemtimes lucidity is good, maybe sometimes not?
one needs a bit of room to wiggle between the rock and the hard place
though this might bother others for various reasons many of which are good reasons
and therefore one writes poetry
although the world is often very insensitive to poets etc

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Svar Till En Syster - Peter Ingestad (Peter Ingestad)

Faktisk såg jag dig le.
Vad var det ... kanske en skymt
av nåt slag?
- Vem bryr sig! Livet är grymt,
dumheter gör man varje dag
själv glömmmer jag ibland, att be
till Gud, jag är på allvar kristen,
det är inte det,
som är den stora bristen
för mig,
ånej,
utan det är nåt ganska skumt
jag säger bara för mycket dumt,
så tig
på mig? - Nix!
Bara lite poetiska tricks,
sådär...nå har du din egen väg,
så säg,
på "livets stig",
"o mö",
om jag får kalla dig så,
förstår du mig då
nä, knappast va... och jag blir något röd
i fejset, som en reva
i något konstigt... tyg,
liksom
...jag börjar om,
typ, min stil är något... trevande,
...som förgjort
ibland, nå, sagt
nog, lagt
kort
ligger,
tigger
ingen uppmärksamhet
alls!... nå, "skria"
alltså aldrig alltför högt vår nöd,
o Eva,
Mia,
Maria,
vadhelst,
bara var som jag... lite frälst,
för kortet var den sanna givens,
nå bara glöm den skärande musiken,
de obemannade positivens...
jävla vevande,
nåt sånt.. för sök, som jag,
ibland, nån dag...
nåt ögonblick i sänder...
i väntan på att nånting händer,
om... just bara att den lätta vinden... vänder,
nå, minns
"o kvinns!,
nänäh... skärp sig nu,
jag : du
...ett tips: att aldrig själv försöka... veva
och försök att alltid se
de svaga ljusen,
som av en... glöd,
nå, försök att bara ge
dej själv ett litet stöd...
den här dikten?
...rena bikten?
...specifika litterära vikten?
Skit
samma!
Små råttor ränner hit och dit,
små falska dockebarn kan inte sluta glamma,
likväl hörs ett rop "från ö till ö",
det är trösten
mitt i alltihop... men vems är rösten
....inte är den min,
inte heller är den din,
jag bjöd
på den: hej!
Säg inte nej
...säg aldrig aldrig aldrig.... adjö
...och kom ihåg, det är
i värsta fall, faktiskt... alltid tusen
gånger bättre, helt enkelt, att bara ...treva,
älska, dö
levande
...
än att... - leva - leva - leva
DÖD!

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